[disgruntled]

i had a horrible class today! my mind was wandering, i couldn't do anything right, i was practicing with a potentially injured foot, i ate to close to class, and the worst part was that i was horrible to myself. the last one was the one that really got to me. i can push through a lot of things, but that i could not. everytime i would screw up i told my self i was horrible, that i cannot do anything right, which of course frustrated me causing me to mess up more and thus feel worse..... it got to the point where i actually told myself after i screwed up that i am so bad at MA that i pretty much wasted the last 13 years of my life. luckly i decided to snap out of it and distract myself with useful distractions like why i was feeling so bad........

NO SUN!!!!

i leave to work at 7:30 when the sun just come up and leave work at 5:00 shortly before the sun goes down.... plus it has been really cloudy.... (on sunny days i am ridiculusly happy) daylight saving thing just changed too, so it gets darker even earlier.

this is usually refered to as seasonal affective disorder. it is a condition where you get depressed when you do not get enough light. it is debateable how common this is, but i have heard a lot of other people complain of the same thing, thus i am sure some of you might be able to relate.

suggestion to feel better:
- tanning is suppose to trick you body into thinking it is getting sunlight (people also use light boxes)
- spend more time outdoors (when you are not stuck at work)
- exercise
- medication (see doctor)
- but most importantly, be aware of if you are sensitive to this so that you can snap yourself out of it and not take your personal attacks so seriously.